Discovery

Hi, my name is Jean and I’m going to discuss with you what it means to have a centered self.

What is a centered self? It’s a state of harmony: mind, body, and soul. This is not an easy reality to attain or maintain. Being centered requires hard work. It requires acknowledging all facets of you, the good parts and the less good parts.

The definition of self is: a person’s essential being that distinguishes them from others, especially considered as the object of introspection or reflexive action. So, what is introspection? It’s the examination or observation of one’s own mental and emotional state. Reflexive action is an involuntary, unplanned sequence or action, and a nearly instantaneous response to a stimulus.

Your SELF is YOU, in the moment, recognizing your mental and emotional processes. The key here is recognizing your mental and emotional processes IN THE MOMENT! No considering, pondering, or thinking—just responding in the moment.

Next week we’ll explore some techniques to identify who you really are.

Who are you?

Possible answers: A) A good person, at peace with yourself and happy in your world. B) A person who constantly questions yourself, looking for who you are. Uncomfortable in the world around you – not really a part of it. C) A spiritual person seeking enlightenment.

What are your defining characteristics?

A) Happy, responsible, self-aware, strong, capable, loving. B) Responsible, ethical, insecure, kind. C) Unhappy, seeking, disorganized, self-centered

What do you cherish about yourself?

A) Your outlook on life, optimism, responsibility to family, loving nature, acceptance of others, empathy, relationship with a higher power, independence, morals, integrity, inner balance, etc.

What do you want to change about yourself?

A) Self-doubt, mistrust, pessimism, loneliness, irresponsibility, isolation, fear of loving, appearance, and so on.

When you’ve answered these questions honestly and in the moment, you begin to glimpse your SELF. Is the reality of your SELF set in stone? Are you destined to live out your life as you are now? Can you change?

Your SELF is not set in stone, your destiny is what you make it, change is inevitable and ongoing. 

If you don’t like the answers to the questions you’ve asked it’s up to you to change the answers.  You must  work at it. Positive change doesn’t come easily!

When you set out to change yourself start small.  Think baby steps. This can be a scary and daunting process. First you need to clear your mind. Then you need to let your subconscious take over and show you the way.  One way to achieve this step might be to commit to journaling or meditating at least ten minutes each day. Yoga, swimming, running, working your way through the beads on a rosary, any repetitive activity that allows your conscious let go and lets your sub-conscious loose, will work.  The goal here is to let your mind flow freely without your hands on the steering wheel. Just exist moment by moment and see what is really going on inside of you.

What is the one thought you can’t let go of? The one that keeps repeating and nagging at you? Whatever it is, it’s the first issue you need to address. We all want a peaceful, harmonious mind free of the “I need to, I need to, I need to” hamster wheel that constantly spins inside our heads.

Once you identify the predominant “I need to” DO IT! Don’t think about it, just step up and do it! Stopping to think about it will inevitably lead to doing nothing. Go through your “I need to” list and take action.  The more “I need to’s” you address the more your centered self will emerge and the sooner you’ll get to your “I want to” list. Make each decision and take each step in the MOMENT.

My first step, which I took before contemplating these things, was to start seeing a therapist. I overcome depression each and every day. It’s genetic. I can’t change it, but I can take steps to minimize its impact on my life. Do I hate this part of myself? No. It’s simply part of who I am.

The second step I took was serendipitous. I was walking trough a hobby store and saw a small white canvas with the words “Choose Happy” printed on it.  It was the first time I fully realized that happiness is a choice we make. I bought that canvas and hung it on my bedroom wall where I see it every day when I wake up.  As easily as that I’ve already started my day off right. I read it and decide to be happy. All day long I make that choice again and again. Every time something happens that surprises me or isn’t what I wanted or expected and I start to feel negativity creeping in I stop and make a conscous effort to choose happy.  It’s become my mantra, my words to live by. 

Be open to inspiration. At some point you’ll read, hear, or even subconsciously think the words you want to live by, the words you feel will help you be your best self.

Ask yourself the questions, answer honestly and in the moment. Write your answers down. When you’ve done that let the answers marinate for a while. Then, when you’ve had time to absorb the answers, go back over them and ask yourself what comes next. Which baby step will you decide to take?

I’ll leave you, for now, with this quote to ponder …

“Knowing others is intelligence: knowing yourself is true wisdom.” – Lao Tzu.